Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
