one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
