goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
