hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
