can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
