Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
