I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
