God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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