I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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