im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
