She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know her cup size but not her name....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
