i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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