maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My dick has a subreddit
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
