please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm bleeding and have questions
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
