What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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