i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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