Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
