He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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