I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize