Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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