Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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