Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
