I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
