do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
