i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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