Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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