there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
