is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
