I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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