Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
