my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
