The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
