a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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