the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
no you cant smoke seaweed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
