this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
