what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
