i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
