Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
the raccoons are back...
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