its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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