It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
