He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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