Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
