My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
