Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
