i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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