i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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