Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
