Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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