Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
