it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
