I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
