oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
