this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
