I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize