There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I cut my penus on the lid.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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