Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
