I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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