I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize