It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
