Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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